I had an extremely chaotic start to life from day 1.
When I was in my mothers womb, unfortunately she was suffering from a great amount of stress. My introduction to life was one of fearing everything, and being the victim of unfortunate circumstances. With my own life continued the cycles of abuse, ignorance, poverty, neglect, and fear. On my journey towards healing and breaking these cycles, the reduction of stress has been the single most important thing I’ve focused on to be able to find homeostasis.
Stress happens on many levels. Everything from relationships, to our psychology and lifestyle.
Below are some key elements that have allowed me to experience inner peace in a way that early in my life I couldn’t of imagined possible.
A Gratitude Practice
Has allowed me to trust life, and to trust in the miracle of creating my own reality. Something as simple as giving thanks for the universe always having my back
has trained my mind and nervous system to feel at ease. Whether or not that’s “true” it doesn’t matter. Our nervous system can’t tell the difference between something that is actually happening or an inner experience we are having. Although, I find that giving thanks for the universe conspiring for me feels true, after all i’m still here. No matter what I’ve been though, for reasons unbeknown to me I still have the privilege of life, and with it the choice to cultivate a better life for myself.
Sitting to count my blessings at the beginning of my day and at the end of it has also trained me to look for the blessing in everything. It has allowed me to create a reality based on abundance instead of lack or struggle. Since everything in the universe is vibrating at a certain frequency, we attract and live with the things and people who match that same frequency. A gratitude practice has changed my frequency from one of limitation to one of boundless possibility. I’m constantly giving thanks for all the things and blessings in my life, which in turn attracts and creates more of that in my life. Not only has a gratitude practice made me more abundant, but also more empowered, as I see myself as the creator of my reality, with my superpower being the focus of my attention.
We are wired for connection and collaboration, we have survived this far as a species for both of those reasons. It makes sense that a feeling of purpose and connection is imperative to having inner peace. Our fear of dying and being alone is very powerful. Feeling as though the meaning of our life ends when we die, or fearing that we will end up all alone and with no support system can fill us with anxiety. Which is why investing our time and resources into something or someone that extends outside of ourselves gives us purpose, fills our lives with meaning, and also gifts us peace. To know that we will live on past our death through the people and causes we invest in, and that we will always have a network to connect with appeases our primal needs for survival.
Truth to One’s Path
Everyone has a deep seeded fear of regretting at the end of life the things we didn’t do. That fears is what drives us to maximize our time on earth. It’s why we take chances, challenge ourselves and ultimately evolve. We want to know that we made the most of our life here. In my case answering the calling of my soul, and all that it entails is what will allow me to die in peace, with zero regrets. When I began to live my life this way I experienced the most peace. I knew that no matter what, I had two major things going for me: 1.) I was enjoying my life to the max. 2.) I would have no regrets of things left undone at the end of my life. Solid on a life well lived by my standards.
Diet and Ftness
Stress on a cellular level from not nourishing or maintaining our bodies properly is gravely underestimated. I have found that educating myself on the food supply chain, as well as the many theories on nutrition has been imperative to reducing my biological stress. But more importantly being attune to the ever changing needs of my body is a key element to keeping stress down. The same goes for fitness. Educating myself on biomechanics, proper posture, and alignment has reduced the number of injuries and all the distress that comes from them. Just like with diet, education is only 50 % of the awareness necessary to thrive, using my intuition, and being true to what my body needs and can handle has been very important in my journey.
The american heart association has done multi-generational studies on the effects our relationships have on our health and wellbeing. I find this fascinating. In my own experience I know that having relationships that are supportive and functional is imperative to inner peace. There’s nothing worse than being physically close to someone yet feeling lonely. Nothing has robbed me more from inner peace and quality of life, than experiencing the chaos and distress that comes with dysfunctional relationships. Due to my upbringing, home, or my comfort zone was in the chaotic. For me it has been important to seek and cultivate relationships that bring out the best in me. Breaking the cycle of stress that comes from unhealthy relationships for me means; being aware of why i’m attracted to someone and being honest about their place in my emotional wellbeing.
Having a Healthy Balance Between Contentment and Striving
For me being completely content with who I am breeds complacency and apathy. It robs me from the peace of knowing that i’m making the most out of the opportunity I have to live this one life. On the other hand, always striving for something makes me feel like i’m never enough and i’ll never have enough. Continuously striving makes me feel anxious, like I can never do enough to get “somewhere.” Peace for me lies in the fact that we never arrive, we’re always in the making, and if I’m smart about life, there’s deep appreciation for what is, exactly as it is. True intelligence lies in being able to hold two opposing thought simultaneously. So yes, i’m good with who I am, with things exactly as they are, and there’s also a curiosity and a passion for life that keeps me striving. Honoring both, being able to sit with both at any given moment, is a practice, that i’m proud to say, the better I get at it, the more inner peace I experience. Accepting things as they are white also having the courage to challenge them when I find it meaningful is how I solve any existential crisis that comes my way.
It’s All Temporary
Being aware that we don’t have another day guaranteed brings us into the present moment. A moment gone by is a moment we don’t ever get back.
When we keep in mind that everything, including our lives is temporary, we give ourselves permission to slow down and savor the present instead of being worried about came before, or anxious about what might happen later.